They Thought I Had The Virus…

I’ve basically been hiding in my room since this all started. It was easier to do so in the winter where I wore a hoodie and a mask. It became difficult when it got hot out. I’d be baking at 350 wearing a hoodie when it’s 90 degrees out. Now about the scare. Well um.

How can I explain this? I have extreme issues with sinus and allergies. Especially when it goes from hot/cold. Cold/hot. Chicago temps are like the Power Ball 30,50,70.

I’d say after Memorial Day I started having so much chest pain, which I normally get when my sinus drain or when I have that hay fever. Or anxiety since you feel that sensation during a panic attack. And I was coughing, which happens sometimes. When dust goes down my windpipe. My folks’ house is ancient so it’s hard to clean up the dust/mildo. I live in Chicago and the weather is like the Powerball which affects my allergies. After maybe 3 days and no progress with what I normally do for my allergies, my grandpa nagged me to call up the clinic. My original intention was to try to get in, or maybe for some advice on what they think I should try. Or they had to test me and it would have been a walk-in appointment. Now because of the pandemic, they do the screening. You know. Ask you have you experienced XYZ. Now they HAD to make the signs of the virus match to the fucking tee what you get with allergies/sinus. Nothing but anxiety city.

Because I answered ‘yes’ to most of the questions, the on-call nurse told me to go to the ER. We usually go to ERs with-in the company of the clinic.

The stressful part is they are not allowing visitors so I had to be in there by myself. I wish I brought my plushes. I always have them for comfort.

My plushies

I would have brought one. I would have brought Temmie (on the right) w/o her box though.

I didn’t even wait 5 minutes before being called. They had checked for several things (yes they checked for the virus)

When I had to call in my meds in previous months, I had to get passed the questions for the last few months.

To me, it’s stressful having to be by yourself, no one by your side during a scare. I had one of my smaller plushies with me. Better than nothing. One thing about me, I hate hospitals. Alien environments overwhelm me. Heck, they can see it when they check your heart rate. My heart rate always outs me! I told them about my anxiety but they still checked for other stuff. Which is smart. One thing is certain at the clinic/hospital (like when I had my wisdom teeth out last year) the heart machine always outs me and I am left with no option put to tell them about my anxiety. That it’s GAD and not from ‘drinking coffee.’ I say this because it’s best to tell them it’s anxiety-induced. Although they won’t just go with my word for safety I still think they should know in case what they have to give me messes with my meds.

I’d say it was about a 90-minute to 2-hour wait for tests to come back. 90 agonizing minutes. I brought my tablet with me and watch YT to pass the time.

After 90 freaking minutes I’d say (they did do more than one check) finally heard something. I was messaging my mom keeping her posted.

If I wasn’t hurting so much I would have sighed with relief so hard Indiana would have felt that wind; when they said it WASN’T the virus. You have no idea how badly I wanted a drink. I mean an alcoholic drink.

If I wasn’t hurting (or wearing sandals) I would have left skid marks and they would have felt a breeze when I left. Like in the cartoons when someone leaves so fast. The scary part is.. well. Having to go through a scare alone; no one can be with you. Which makes it tough when I can’t explain myself. For people who think this is all a hoax need to understand. If you or a friend catches this thing, NO ONE can see you or you will not be allowed to see them. As I said, they wouldn’t let my mom and my grandma in.

I told my grandma’s friend when she paid a visit and she was like ‘that was scary, were you scared.’ I played enough horror games on Roblox to learn to somewhat keep my cool. I really wished my mom could be with me the entire time. The entire time I wish I had my plushies. No one wants to be in an ER alone. Kid, teen adult. No one.

To be honest I have been slowly giving up. That this is the new world.

My mom told me I gave her a headache. She was worried. I don’t blame her. I felt bad and told her I didn’t mean to scare her. You know. better to be safe than sorry. I felt bad when she said I gave her a headache.

Sorry if I was kinda cryptic. It was hard to process it all. I hugged my plushies when I got home. I sorta don’t really show emotion due to being shaded for it.