Autism: Having Your Needs Disregarded

Autism: Having Your Needs Disregarded

aaliyahholt May 21, 2020

I feel as though since I turned 18, my mom thinks the problems I had with autism went away. So many people are under the impression that autism stops at 18, your problems stop at 18 which is not true. Autism does not drop off the face of the earth when you turn 18. Autistic adults exist and they struggle.

They will continue to struggle as long as you keep thinking their problems go away when they become adults.

When I was a little girl/teen. My mom knew about my needs. For instance. I need explicit instructions. My mom knew of this when I was little and told my aunt that she has to tell me ‘ I want Sprite’ ‘I want X’ when she told me to bring her some lemon and I thought lemonade. Now, as of me being an adult, she gets mad and refuses to provide this little accommodation. She is autistic like me but holds me on a neurotypical standpoint. She expects me to be able to understand cryptic instructions like Nts. ‘The garbage is full’ may be a request or asking you to do something to an NT but to us, it seems like a train of thought.


My mom doesn’t realize that failing to provide extra details in her request because in her eyes she thinks I don’t need it is no different than (let’s pretend I am deaf) refusing to acknowledge that I need closed captions to watch TV and making sure the program(s) have CC that can be enabled.
Image if I got a comment from a viewer on YouTube asking me to provide captions on my videos because they are deaf and I deny them that because I think they don’t need it when I am not in their body. Who is my mom to judge what I need and don’t need when she is not in my body? Yes, we have the same disorder. That does not mean you have to hold the person on the same standards.

Before you want to disregard our needs big or small ask yourself if someone said they need a wheelchair would you tell them no because in your eyes you think they don’t need it?
In a way, my mom is trying to make me operate like an NT.

I can’t have a well-oiled machine if I can’t get my folks to have empathy for the things I need for the machine.

My mom agreed with my old pych about not being able to work/hold down a job. Until I attempted to go through that job program and the counselor I was given invalidates my autism, refuses to acknowledge the needs I will require to function on a job. The lady saw it is being negative and saying I can’t do this I can do that.

The way I see it, it helped me narrow down what could work. That helped me decided to work from home. I looked and saw crowds give me anxiety, being rushed, yelled at, unexpected changes with no time to process. Then I thought what if I turn my crypto blogs into a job. I can go at my own pace and pick a flow that works for me. I can take control for once without having to function in an NT setting for once. Of course, NTs will never understand us. Don’t listen to uneducated morons like that lady. Say on a job I am expected to complete a task in 30 minutes and I will need an hour. With editing my Yt videos. I can pick an upload agenda that works for me. I feel 2xs a week helps me and the viewers, the viewers won’t have as many videos to catch up on if they get busy during the week. 2xs allows me to focus on quality and promotion.

I can edit with a style that works for me vs having to struggle to do things like NTs. I can always give myself a much-needed break vs on a job it wouldn’t be so easy to take off. I am all about putting money away because I will never know when I may need it. I would do that if all goes wrong. That includes if I need to take off of work.

This was originally written in 2019 and I am transfering my articles from blogger over. As of now I opened a savings account and will put money away if I need to.

Whether you like it or not we need explicit instructions. Reading between the lines is not easy for us ( or at least most of the time for me) what is ‘common sense’ to you might not look that way to us.

By denying our request you are setting us up to fail.

Think about it this way. If a student tells a teacher they need more time on their test and the teacher refuses to listen, the student fails the test and would have done better if he had more time on his tests.

It’s no different than not providing a wheelchair for someone who needs it or providing a ramp for someone in a wheelchair.

Think about it from that prospective.

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